If I sounded condescending in my last post, it wasn't my intention. I'm only trying to point out that, yes, you've done a lot of work to figure this thing out. Yes, you've done a great job at posting your findings in great detail. You've been split testing the engine and the transmission at the same time though. It muddies up the results because you can inadvertently create false negative and false positive results. This creates even more work and can mask the original problem.
From the first post I can tell that you've been working on this long before you even posted here. I get that...I really do. But you haven't been able to rule many things out in my eyes and you've created some results that had nothing to do with the original problem.
For instance, removing the lock-up solenoid introduced a lurch and a stall when you placed the transmission in gear, when there was only a stall before the solenoid was removed. I get this from post #10. You've created a change here but what has been proven? What can be gathered from the change? The new lurch hasn't answered anything but it has added another variable to the equation. That's fine but the engine can't stay running to be able to test this path further. So a dead end.
On the other hand, the transmission can't require the engine to need ether to start. This is your one symptom that is related to a single system. This is why I suggest starting here, no pun intended. Put all efforts on that symptom. When you have it worked out, see what's changed elsewhere.
In post #7, Will asked for some specific information and gave detailed instructions on how to obtain it, to include timing and line pressures. I've seen none of those questions answered here. You really need that information. To check timing you don't have to remove the pump. It's really easy to check on the 8.3 engine. Those are critical missed steps because if timing has slipped out then resetting the timing might clear all of this up without the need for any parts or further testing. Pressures can give you a good idea of system performance without having to remove things. Will knows diesel engines. He can be of great assistance and he knows what he needs from you to be able to help.
Keep in mind that we don't get to see, hear and feel what we are trying to help you fix. We are relying completely on what you find and post. This can be very frustrating on our end as well. We are honestly trying to help.
Back to the lock-up solenoid since it is already out now. While you have it off, see whether it is in the open or closed position. Then supply 24v and a ground to the proper wires and insure that it changes positions. My fear here is that removing the solenoid and capping the ends has placed the torque converter in permanent lock-up. This would explain the new "lurch" after removal, which is also a symptom of a stuck shifter button. A stuck shifter button or grounded wires presents with a lurch then an engine stall.
From the -10 Operator's Manual:
The solenoid manually places the transmission in 5th gear. The torque converter is unlocked in 1st and 2nd gears and locks in 3rd, 4th and 5th gears. The torque converter locks as a result of the transmission being placed in 5th gear and is not directly controlled by the solenoid.
What is not clear is whether the solenoid is in line before or after the govenor system. If it's before the governor system then the solenoid is NC and will open to supply pressure. If it's after the governor system then the solenoid is NO and will close to create pressure. The operators manual just gives a basic understanding of how the system works. I won't rely on that description above to assume NO or NC.
The easiest thing to do at this point would be to test it to insure that it changes when power is supplied and returns when it is removed. If it's working, I'd reinstall it on the transmission and just leave it unplugged for now. If it's not working then you have verified 2 problems instead of just an engine problem. We already know you have a dedicated engine problem given the need for ether. Check the operation of the solenoid while it's out to make sense of the new "lurch" as well since it started when the solenoid was removed.
Don't forget post #7...