We Made It! (A Novel)
Hi All:
Well, despite all the odds stacked up against us, we made it. The "Bull Frog", other than being a converitble when we got it is a very good, solid truck. We only had one minor mechanical problem on the trip back. We met some really nice and helpful people on the trip, and of course, some real scumbag SOB's.
To start, my wife was to taken by surprise to kill me. At 8 AM Saturday I told her about the truck and that we were leaving at 3 PM. I may be crazy, but I'm not THAT stupid. We flew via Amtrak. If any of you consider this mode of travel, walk, it'll be faster. Also, if ya have the time to go that way, take 1st class with a sleeper. If your handicapped like me, mention that when ya get your tickets.
Bring a cooler and a nuke if possible because there's something about being a captive audience. It seems that big organizations have no mercy on you and charge the heck out of ya, like $1.75 for a small cup of coffee with no refil. They also won't let ya use their nuke. At least they didn't charge extra for sugar.
The train was like an oven to, and ya can't get any fresh air anywhere, and also, if ya smoke, prepare for some major nic fits. The train was late in arriving and also delayed in departing. After leaving Chicago's Union Station, we traveled about 10 minutes until we stopped and waited, which was an indication of things to come during the entire trip. At least at that stop there was entertainment of sorts. We were along side of Comens, er ah, US Cellular Field, where the 1st game of the World Series was being played. We knew the Sox's had scored 2 runs in the 1st inning due to all of the fireworks going off. BTW, we never found out the final score until we hit DC the next night.
All and all, we arrived in DC 4.5 late, which had been adjusted from the original arrival time due to the delayed departure. I don't think we went over 30 MPH at any given time during the whole trip. I found out from an oldtimer that makes the trip 4 times a month that this is normal for this train.
While en-route to DC, they told us that the train we were to take to VA had been cancled due to Wilma hitting FL because that was where that train was to end up. Then we found out a few hours later, that they just changed the # of the train and we could still get to VA. That is, if we got there on time. HA!
IF, IF, IF! I hope NEVER to hear that word again.
Anywho, as it turned out, the VA train was 45 minutes late, so we were able to make it on. We finally arrived in Newport News, VA at 11:30 PM Sunday. BTW, I was not able to get any sleep during the trip because my son, I love that little guy, while he was sleeping, was streching all over me, kicking me, drooling on me, and making a lot of noise as he started to talk in his sleep. Then, after he had his fill of sleep and started to explore, I thought I would be able to catch some Z's. HA, silly me, I did it agian, I thought. It seems that he thought it was more fun to wake me than to play his Game Boy.
So now we're in Newport News. Our final destination was Portsmouth. We took a bus (which was free from Amtrak) to Norfolk (for you Yankee's out there it's pronounced Na Fick). From there, we took a cab to the shipyard in Portsmouth. BTW, we went right past it on the bus, but the driver wouldn't stop and let us out, so we had to back track. The cabbie who took us all of a sudden changed directions when I mentioned that we had gone past the place already and knew where it was. Hmmmmmm.
Now I have gone to a few different military bases to pick up items that I have purchased from the government. I've dealt with Marines, Rangers, Special Forces, all heavily armed, under Code Red comditions, and I will say this in all honesty, they were always very professional, cordial, polite and helpful. When early, we were allowed to wait in the visitor center's, which were always well kept, clean and comfortable. Hell, they would even go out of their way to be helpful.
We hit Portsmouth at about 12:30, 1 AM. They have Rent A Cops there. We get to the gate, which we have to walk to (only on the marked path) a little distance because the cabbie wouldn't take us all the way (I was able to figure out why very shortly). The gate guards were women. The one that was about as old as me was very fat, and the other was not really what I would call in shape either. At least she talked to us. I can easily picture Abdula or whomever getting past them with an unloaded box cutter real easy.
We were directed from there to the "Pass Office", which was about 1/4 mile away. Now picture this, we're carrying all our gear and tools. At least the tools were in one of those suitcases that has wheels. I'm handicapped and my son is 13. We get to this nasty looking building that's surrounded by all these walls (which turned out to be plastic). We go inside, which is not any better looking only to find another Rent A Cop. We tell him who we are and why we're there, and yes, we know we're a bit early (DRO doesn't open until 7 AM), but that's okay with us, we'l just sit on these old rickety chairs and wait.
No he says, I can't let you do that. Huh? But it's raining outside. Get a hotel room. For 5 hours? Besides, I didn't see any close by. No you didn't because they're all downtown. I'm sorry, but we really don't have any extra cash, that's why we took Amtrak. To bad, so sad, but ya can't stay here. Okay, is there a sit down restruant nearby? No, but there's a 24 hour Mickey D's about a 20 minute walk from here, they'll let you wait
IN there.
I saw that we were not going to get anywhere, so it was off to Mickey D's, on the marked path. The 20 minutes he was talking about must have been by car becuase it was 5 to 6 miles away, and oh, guess what. Yes, it was a 24 hr place, but a
DRIVE THRU! As we were walking there, we heard gun shots close by (we found out later that this was the bad part of Portsmouth), and the wheel broke off my suitcase.
I.J.F.F.! We spent the next several hours OUTSIDE of a 7 Eleven, waiting. We took a cab back.
I was planning on giving that guard a piece of my mind (what was left of it) when we got back, but he was long gone by that time. As it turned out, the DRO actually opened at 8, not 7, and it was at a different location, about 15 miles away, but I still had to get a pass from them to go there. Okay, but since we had some time to kill, I asked this new person (not a guard, but an office worker) if we could wait there until it was time. She said okay, and we collapsed into the chairs. My son immediately passed out since I would not allow him to sleep while we waited outside (payback kid
).
Now here's where the real fun began. As a requirement to get onto a military base, you NEED a picture ID in the form of a current driver's license. Weeeell, way back in May of this year I got a traffic ticket, and the great state of Illinois really doesn't believe in speedy trials. My court date is this November. So, I haven't seen my license since then. Anywho, I had told the main office of the DRO about this and what I needed to do.
The only other form of picture ID I have is a Sam's Club membership card. So, what I had done at all these other bases was to have a photo copy of my DL along with my ticket and my SS card. For good measure, I'd whip out the Sam's Club card.
Never had a problem, but then again, I was dealing with professionals. Guess what, the "WATCH COMMANDER" of the Rent A Cops said I couldn'get a pass, which means that I couldn't get my truck, which means I forfit the cash I had already paid for it. I started to got over the counter after this big dumb fathead but caught myself at the very last nano second. He DID back up, and almost fell over a chair doing so.
Needless to say, we were no longer allowed (or welcomed) in this fine building, which, had become very crowded, and I guess I was the morning entertainment. My son, was still in a very deep sleep (which was also some AM entertainment), and under normal times, he's very difficult to wake up. It took over 10 minutes to get him to actually stand on his own, and 5 more watching him walk into walls, people and vending machines, talking in a very strange undiscovered language. More entertainment.
Now what? We went outside of the building, it was only drizzeling then, and I called home to get the phone # to the local DRO office, where I was to go. While waiting outside to regain some form of composure, I was approached by several people that told me that this was the norm for those people, that they were real power trippers, lazy and ignorant, and some of the people that told me this wore plenty of brass if ya catch my drift.
I got the # and made my call. I talked to the boss at DRO, and he got real upset. I can't repeat what he said, but he was not happy with the Rent A Cops, but his hands were tied. He said that they would be watching and waiting to see if I showed up there. Then he came up with a sort of plan. Now if you remember, when I 1st bid on the truck, I was told that it was a runner. However, since it sat outside for 45 days, waiting to see if I'd clear the background checks, it no longer started. I was also told that one guy when he came to get his truck, discovered that the brakelines were removed.
The Sorta Plan: Call a local tow outfit, and for $75.00, have them act as my agent and tow the truck off base, and also pull start it. Then I could be on my merry way. He gave me their phone #. BTW, we have no call pack on our cells, we pay for every minute. I can't wait to see what this months bill will be. Probably more than we've paid in the last several years.
The company's name is Fink's Towing. Good name I thought, I'm in real trouble now. I called. No, it'll be $125.00 for the tow, and they DON'T DO PULL STARTS! Great. Oh well, I'm stuck now, okay I tell em. Then the driver calls me and tells me to wait, and he'll pick us up and take us to the truck. Cool. He does exactly what he said too. He was driving a pretty, new Pete Super Wrecker, complete with a sleeper. We load all of our gear into some side lockers and hop aboard. My son went back into the sleeper, but I made sure he sat up the whole trip.
We pull up to the other base and the driver flashes his ID/pass and in we ALL go. We get to the DRO office and he tells us to come with him. We all sign in and head over to the pick up point. The boss is there, sees us, finds out who we are and then freaks, followed by a long snicker. He tells us that he'll give us several hours to make our getaway, then he's gonna cause some real stink with the guards for letting me in. Oh great I think, now we'll be on America's Most Wanted.
We do the paperwork and it's off to the Frog. Now I've seen pictures of it, but there's about 15 deuce's sitting there, in various conditions. The Frog was supposed to have a tare on the cab roof, and the bed canvas is supposed to be rolled up in the cab. BTW, it's still drizzeling, but I lived in Washinton State for a while, so a little moisture doesn't bother me. However, my son thinks that he's related to the Wicked Witch of the West and will melt if he gets wet.
All the deuce's have these little itty bitty tags on the tailgate with their ID #'s printed, so I have to get out of the wrecker and check. After much searching and having my son get out to help read, we finally locate the Frog. Guess what? That tare, well, it became a convertable. The cab was a swimming pool, and the drivers seat was ripped so that all the wet could be soaked into the cushion. Also, the top that was rolled up in the cab doubled, if not tripled in weight from the water it soaked up.
I checked over the Frog to make sure what was supposed to be there was. It had a few rust thru spots on the bed, some minor dings with surface rust, but all in all, besides it being a convertable seemed pretty solid. The batteries were there and so were all the brakes lines I could see. The engine was squeaky clean. Of course, it didn't start. The Frog has a true military camo paint on it, brushed on. It even had all the straps for the pioneer rack and fuel tank.
So the driver hooked it up. He had to call another wrecker because there was another guy there in the same situation as me and had to have his "Runner" towed out. That guy was saying that he had it running during the auction, and that mine didn't start when he checked it out, so it was probably gonna cost me a left lung to get it running again.
Now, how the heck was I gonna do that?????
Well, since he wasn't gonna pull start me, the driver said he'd tow the Frog to this one truck repair shop he knows. Great I thought, get the barrel ready. I hope they use straight Vasoline and don't add any ground glass or sand.
We get to this shop, and the driver tahes off to talk to the owner alone. This don't look good.... I walk over to them and the owner tells me that he has a nice waiting room and my son and I should use it.
Will I get to smoke a cigerette after? Will I get a kiss? Hell, I'm from Chicago, and I've been around vehicle repair shops since I was 7. It don't look good, and I haven't had any sleep since I woke up at 4 AM Saturday. It was now noon on Monday. Oh what the heck, I'm a dead man when I get home anyway, so let's go for it.
We get to the waiting room only to remember that our gear is still on the wrecker, and I still didn't pay the man (not that I thought I was gonna get away with that, I was just pretty damn spacey at that point). I grab my son and we head back to the wrecker. He wasn't happy about going back out into the rain, or carrying our gear. He was telling me how tired he was and if he knew that I was going to keep him up all the night before because he had kept me awake during the whole trip, he would'a stood guard over me to make sure that I slept.
I had my son bring
ALL of the gear to the waiting room while I took care of the driver. Of course, his plastic machine in the truck didn't work, so he had to blast my #'s all over the airwaves. Inspite of the image I probably gave, the driver was a pretty good guy, going above and beyond the call of duty in helping us out, and more so, he was stuck listening to me babble on and on, and eversince the hospital did a job on my vocal cords one of the times I died while in their care, my voice is not the most pleasent thing to hear. So, I gave him something a little extra, just for him, to get lunch on me. I wish I coulda bought him dinner.
Back to the waiting room to wait. There was this BIIIIIG oversized couch in there, and 2 TV's. One had a video game machine hooked up to it, so my son was in heaven. Me of course grabbed the couch and strached out. Again, anytime I started to nod, something would wake me. Now, I'm not what you'd call a heavy sleeper in the best of conditions, and when stressed, I revert back to my military days. My wife used to freak when she discovered that I can sleep with my eye's open, and they even follow movement.
One time I woke to see this woman enter the waiting room with an oxygen tank and the hoses to her nose. She sat down and lit a cig. Oh crap I thought, she's gonna blow us up. Having less tact than normal (which is not much to begin with), I asked her if she was going to blow us up or start a fire, or if she was just suicidal. She assured me the answer was NO to all of the above and continued to smoke. Oh well, if I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die. It's been tried many times before, but I haven't stayed dead yet (but that's another story).
We started to talk. Hell, I was pretty out of it at that point in time, and I knew that if and when I got home, that my wife would an could propably kill me. I had really stepped over the line with this little adventure. I had left her with our 5 year old daughter and all the dogs to take care of while my son and I were gone, and she works 2 jobs. The ONLY reason I got out of the house alive was that I hit her with all the info to fast for her to fully comprehend.
I told all of this to the poor woman, who turned out to be the mother of the guy who told us to wait in the waiting room, the guy whom I thought was the owner of the shop. I was wrong, she was the owner. It was a Mom and Pop place, but Pop had passed several years ago, and her son had been helping her for the last 10 years. We also talked about dogs. Something I know a little about, being a breeder for the last 30 plus years, and also a trainer and having worked K9's too.
She had recently lost her dog, a German Shepherd, and now had a 7 month old GS pup. Talk about small worlds until you have to walk home, this new pup of hers was/is a white Shepherd. My dog of choice. We only have a house full of them. They had him locked up because he's a pup and annoys the customers. I assured her that I wouldn't be annoyed, and my son has no problem with them either, and that one of our males weighes 175 lbs. They let him loose.
He was a pretty big boy for his age, and he was
ALL puppy! The problem was/is, that he viewed all people as his own personal chew toys. He also likes to use people as springboards to jump off of after he jumps up on.
He did draw blood on several of his chewing attempts, but to me, this is no big deal. I've been bitten a few times in the past. Hell, I was the agitator up in Seattle when I was learning to train police dogs. So, we had a little heart to heart talk and I showed him the errors of his ways with my son and I.
He's a very fast learner as are most German Shepherds.
It got to a point to where he'd lounge with me on the couch, and Dave and his Mom Mary would come in, look at the scene, smile and scratch their heads and say it looked like we were fast friends. They had a very good dog there. I also gave them some info and direction for training. I'd like to bring one of my girls down there when he's a bit older, to get some of his bloodline.
Back to the Frog, after all, that's what this whole thing was/is about.
As we sat in the waiting room, waiting, the drizzel turned into a full blown downpur. It seem's that Wilma was heading past the coast of VA while we were there. After 5 hours on the charger, the Frog still wouldn't start. Now I'll bet your all wondering on the name we gave the deuce, aren't ya? That's easy.
I mentioned about the canvas in the cab, well, during the downpour, I decided to move it out of the guy's way, and dumped it in the bed all by myself. That gave them room to move around in the cab. After they gave up on charging the Frog'd batteries, they tried a quick pull start to see if it even ran. That's when they discovered that it had no brakes. So, while waiting for the new batteries to come, one of the guys went to check the master.
Now picture this if ya can, all the work was being done outside as their shop was all loaded up and they had tried to get me on my way as soon as possible, and for as little as possible. The guy's name is Marc who went to check the master. You all know where the master is, and there he was, with his head by the drivers seat when this great big Bull Frog jumps out at him, scaring or surprising the heck out of him. I guess I woke him up when I took out the canvas.
See, a simple explanation for the Frog's name.
We finally got out of there at 11:30 that evening. We had dinner with them while waiting and I hope made some new, good friends. BTW, my fears about the Vasoline were all unfounded. All the brakes needed was the fluid topped off. They made sure everything worked, like lights, wipers, ect, and we were on our way,
TO A MOTEL! I needed some sleep! They gave us directions to a place where they knew the people and we'd get a break, and also told us where to fuel up where we wouldn't have to pay tourist rates.
During the waiting time at their shop, I had made a quick trip to a Wal Mart's to get a tarp, some bungee cords and of course, duct tape to make a roof for us, and a seat cover. My son got a lesson in Duct Tape 101.
He also learned that it's a big help when ya have light when ya do stuff. It also helps if it stops raining for a while as duct tape holds better that way. On the way to the motel, the top was coming off, and I had forgot to tighten the mirrors, so they were basically no help. We left a 5 O'clock wake up call at the desk because we were supposed to be in Norfolk (that's pronounced Na Fick for all you Yankee's out there) at 6:30 AM on Tuesday. We never heard the phone if they called at all. We also got the wrong motel.
We got up at 9, or I should say that I got up at 9. I got my son up, and since we were already late, and probably wouldn't get our stuff at Norfolk, I figured that we'd get the Frog in shape to travel. We re-did the roof and got the mirrors tight. I also discovered that my son had left all of the Frog's paperwork back at the shop, so we had to go all the way back to get it. I'm sure you've all heard the saying that "It Happened For The Best" haven't you? Like me, I'm sure you've said "Yeah Right, Sure, Who's Best".
I'm here to tell ya that it's true.
In my hurry to escape my house before my wife came to her senses, I forgot my maps from MapQuest. They also had all the addresses I needed, so going back online to MapQuest was out of the question. I tried to access my AOL account to get the stuff I had saved, but since I'm not that computer literate, I had no luck. Unfortunately, my little girl had gotten sick and had to stay home Tuesday, so my wife had to stay home too. So, I was able to have her email the maps to the shop so we could continue our adventure and eventually get home.
At this point in time, I'd like to publicly thank John Doe (not his real name) of Maryland for helping me out with a battery question. It saved us some big money because the guys at the shop had never dealt with replacing military batteries before, and ended up ordering some marine batteries that cost about $350.00 a unit. The cheapo Wal Mart guys did the job just fine.
While at the shop, I had called Norfolk about being late and was told that they'd have to reschedule me for another day. When I told them what had happened, the woman boss said that I could come there and wait and see if they'd have time to load me up, but not to count on it. Off to Norfolk. My son was the navigator. His job was to read the directions and tell me where and which way to turn, and in time to do so. He does know how to read.
Needless to say, he got us off course because he didn't follow my directions on what to do after we completed each set of directions, so he got all confused. Good thing I had gotten a street map and was able to get us back on course. We finally arrived about 4:30. Just a wee bit late.
When I had called, I was told that I had to go thru a gate even though they weren't located on a military base (this was another DRO place). I'm thinking great, more trouble, however, this guy was pretty helpful, but he informed us that we were to late and that DRO was offically closed at 4.
He let us go there anyways because he said there was still some workers there. I must say, driving the Frog brought back all kinds of memories. Like how the seats don't adjust, but most were good. Good thing I took with ear plugs, THANKS Rick. The Frog was proving itself to be a great runner. Another memory, power steering by Armstrong.
We got there, and the workers there loaded us right up. For those of you thinking of dealing with government surplus, most of the people I have dealt with from the DRO were very helpful.
HOMEWARD BOUND! Finally. The Frog is singin, the sun is shining, my son is navigating. We take the Hampton Bridge Road Tunnel, which is a very neat way to go if ya never saw the ocean before. My son is in all his glory. While at Portsmouth, he saw about a dozen 16" guns off of battleships, just sitting there. As we passed the navy base in Norfolk, he saw 4 aircraft carriers among scores of other warships just sitting there. Next stop, the beltway around DC.
My son was a bit disappointed that we didn't have any time to checkout DC like we were supposed to during our supposed layover there. He did get to see part of the Washington Monument, and Marine 1 flying by. I guess W was out for a spin.
Needless to say, my little navigator did it again. You'd of thought he'd of learned his lesson after I got on his case before about paying attention to what he was doing.
Now before any of ya say "What A Jerk Of A Dad", after all, the kid's only 13, he's all full of what's happening, this is the 1st time he's ever made such a trip and he's in a deuce, let me say this in my defense. All I wanted him to do was to make a little tick mark after we completed a set of directions. This was to be done so he wouldn't lose his place, and not have to re-read everything to get to the correct place. I'd even remind him to do so after he read them to me and he'd tell me that he did so. He didn't.
We ended up in the middle of DC, on surface streets, during rush hour in the rain. Then, Mother Nature reared her nasty head, or should I say bladder.
Now if ya never been to DC before, the streets are laid out like a wheel. Personally, I prefer the grid system. It's been over 30 years since my last trip there, and I remembered that if ya get off course, you can have a heck of a time getting back on.
Fortunately, there was a Mickey D's on the main drag so I pulled in there to use the facilities. I discovered a 1st. According to the sign on the door, they were supposed to be open. However, they didn't have enough employee's to keep the whole store open, they could only operate the drive thru. Since I wasn't buying anything and only wanted to use the bathroom, they let me in. As I left, another Mickey D's 1st. I saw all kinds of rats scurring about the outside of the building.
We ended up backtracking to the beltway and we were off again. Things were going good, but we had to make another stop at another Wal Mart, to get some insulation to seal up the air leaks in our make do roof. It was a bit breezy in there and nippy too. After making the needed repairs, we were off again.
Like I said before, everything in the Frog seemed to work good. The engine was replaced in 99 and only had 1300 miles on it. All the gauges seemed top work fine too. Then it happened. We were planning a pit stop in Maryland. I think the town was Middleberg or brough or something like that, but the sign said no direct return access so we were gonna stop at the next exit. The fuel gauge showed between 1/4 and 1/2 tank, closer to the 1/2. We were going up a hill and the Frig started to choke. Uh Oh.
I slowed down thinking (and hoping) that she was just getting a little starvation from going uphill. That's when I noticed that the needle on the fuel gauge was at E.
DAMN! (Not what I truely said.) In the blink of an eye, the gauge had jumped from where I felt confident to where I knew we were screwed. I was able to get the Frog out of the curve we were in and off to the side. I put on the flashers and hoped someone would stop. No such luck.
I tried calling John Doe again, since he was from Maryland and said to give him a call, but this time I got no answer. He was probably asleep, but I have no idea what time it was, all I knew was that it was dark and cold. At least it stopped raining. I tried John several times with no luck, and even tried his pager. Now my son, who I should mention, is a Boy Scout. Guess what? He was wearing shorts. He had sweatpants in his bag, but for some reason only know to a 13 year old, he wouldn't put them on. He'd rather be cold.
Anywho, I finally called 911 and tried to give them directions. I didn't want to mention how sleep depraved I was at that time because I didn't think it would go over to well. They told me that they'd send a trooper to the rescue with some fuel. Cool I thought. That's real nice. In Illinois, they have what's called Minutemen in major areas to assist stranded dumbies like me, and if your in an out of the way place, a trooper will take you to a place to get some fuel and bring ya back, then make sure you can get going again.
Well, I have no idea how long it was, but a trooper finally showed up. Nope, he had no fuel, but that was okay, I had a 5 gal can in the back of the Frog. I'd let him take my kid to a station for fuel and bring him back while I froze my butt off with the Frog. Hell, I deserved it for running out of fuel.
Wrong! It wasn't going down that way. There was this place that for $70.00, plus the cost of fuel would come out and get us. If I couldn't afford that, well, I don't know what they would have done then. I really couldn't afford any of this trip or the Frog either as a matter of fact. Why do ya think I'm afraid the wife is gonna kill me?
It turns out the cop didn't get the correct info. It was $70.00 an hour, 2 hour minimum plus the cost of fuel, 12 gal at $3.25 a gal. After a boost of either, the Frog cranked up. I paid up and we were off. We fueled up at the next stop, drove a bit more and it all hit me, so I found us another motel, and that's where we spent the rest of the night. What the heck, it's only money. When we got up, it was like 20 minutes to check out time. We topped off the tank before we hit the road again and also stopped at a Denny's to top ourselves off.
The rest of the trip went by with no problems at all. The Frog was able to maintain speeds up to 62 MPH, but we pretty much stayed at 57. We even passed 6 whole vehicles during our trip. Had the mirror on the drivers side clipped by a big rig passing us, but no real damage. Stopped at a truck stop in Ohio to take a break in the truckers lounge, but they had the game on, so there was no closing of my eyes. I did strech out, so that helped. We finally made it home at 5:30 AM Thursday, just in time to let the dogs out.
Hope I didn't bore ya all with this novel.
Later
Ugg
